Anyone who follows this blog is well aware that we have moved from New Orleans, LA to Pearl Harbor, HI over the last few months. This is my fourth duty station with my husband and I feel like I should be all knowing and strong and able to handle anything life throws my way. To a extent, I do think I hold those character traits just not the way I think I should.
During our last tour I often times listened to spouses talk about how they struggled with their most recent move and I would always reply with, “Really? There is so much to like about this city!” I couldn’t relate to their feelings or their struggles to find a way to be happy. Strange considering that living in Japan was a challenge for me and so I know what it is like to live somewhere you don’t want to be. No duty station would ever hold me captive again in depression and misery!
Then I left a place I truly loved. I mean the kind of love for a city that creeps into your bones and feels like a home, like a place you could live forever. Now, I get it! I truly understand how these spouses felt. How it felt to leave your life and start over and miss everything. I don’t mean just the school your kids went to or the house you lived in but EVERYTHING.
I know how to not live with the misery of hating where we are. But, how long is it going to take to over come the grief ? Because, let’s face it, that’s what it is, grief. My friend said, “Give it six month. It takes that long to get adjusted.” I sighed and agreed with her looking for those words to comfort me. But, I don’t want it to be six months. I want it to be now! I want my happiness, the feeling of content, strength and confidence to return and fast! There are two little people counting on it so they can learn how to have those character traits.
So, you asked, “What is always a surprise?” This life, this military life; it’s always changing. Just when you think you have it down and you know (or think you know) every thing there is know and BAM, something changes. When I married my husband I could have never dreamed I would mourn a duty station like this. Family.. yes! A first purchased home… yes! But, the city, a friend, a job… never.
Military life always has a surprise just waiting to present itself whether good, bad or ugly……..